almost home now don't get cocky

It’s ok to unclench your hands and jaw now, but don’t get too comfortable, close to home is where most people get into accidents.
Every year, when the snow hits, I’m a little surprised at how un-slippery it is.  It feels a bit out of control while your tires are finding the pavement, but people expect it to feel like riding on a skating rink – years ago I did – but it compares much better to riding on a beach.
Every year I remember that I meant to buy goggles. When I rode to work yesterday I didn’t realize I had the wind in my back. I also didn’t realize it would keep snowing all day long. I might have left my bike at home, but I hate to be stuck walking after a storm when the sun has come out, and everything has been cleared.
I worked hard coming home! I had to hop off and push through a few stretches of soft ‘n’ fluffy. Intersections are difficult because the criss-cross of tire tracks turns into sort of a maze of snowbanks. But the biggest hurdle last night was the wind. It’s hard to hop back on the bike, when both the ground and the air are keeping you from gaining momentum. There was lots of traffic, presumably Christmas shoppers. They didn’t seem as frantic and desperate (and dangerous) as last year, or maybe it’s still early. I didn’t enjoy the masses of cars, but without their ruts I woudn’t have ridden at all!
I keep forgetting, the city waits a certain amount of time before they plough/ re-plough the streets. Surprisingly, a lot of the sidewalks were clear! A matter of timing, I suppose.
My usual 15 minute trip home took me 45 minutes.  After about 10 I was just a big wet sponge of sweat, my eyes were watering because snow flakes feel like needles in that wind – a visor can’t keep out horizontal precipitation – and my eyebrows were riddled with icicles because condensation was coming up from my covered mouth and nose. But when I got home and upstairs into the warmth, I felt calm.
I never ride fast or far, so cardio is not part of my daily riding experience, but it was last night!

it's snowstorm time again

Today I experienced that first snow storm of the season on a new set of two wheels! My dainty little Raleigh passed the test.

When setting out on a snowy day don’t count on the bike path, or the sidewalk. Forget about those till spring time. Get visible, but seriously visible! Keep your eyes open; keep a constant eye on the terrain. Try to avoid the nice soft pillows of fluffy pretty snow. They are the devil. Dangerous obstacles are concealed under there, curbs, pot holes, metal grates, debris, ice.
Find the place in the lane that has the most grip, usually pretty much the middle, where drivers want to be, where they have already made a nice path for you. Yeah, they’re gonna get a bit mad. I don’t recommend this during rush hour, or in a whiteout, but have your lights on, wear bright clothes, and as long as you are seen, you’re as safe as… usual, whatever that means. This morning they were very well behaved, probably because they were as uncertain as I was.

Riding in the snow, it comes back to you. You’ll remember that a bit of slipping is normal, it’s not exactly slipping, it’s more like a different margin of control. It takes a bit of time to become comfortable with it again. In the meantime you might look like you don’t know what you’re doing, because you’re so focussed on the street, and you’re all clenched, and bent forward and ready to jump off.
It’s hard to command respect that way. So, of course I got honked at. By the driver of a TTC bus! Who urgently needed to beat me to the red light ahead. I looked over my shoulder, to make sure  he wasn’t too close or too fast, stuck out my left arm and crossed the lane to the other side to prepare for my turn.
I will not be intimidated.
When I arrived at work and started to lock my bike I did notice that my hands were shaking.
Did I mention to stay visible?

dear motorist transcript

This is a video appealing to everyone, drivers and cyclists, to be more mindful in traffic.  I made a transcript so that I could break it down, and discuss some of the points in separate blogs in the future, and to make the content more accessible.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euu2QRIuEPk” /]
Over the last 10 years, 6,957 cyclists have been killed. Our goal is to save at least one. Cyclists have written the following letters.
Dear motorist,
Dear motorist,
Dear motorist,
I am a mother.
I am a daughter.
I am a cyclist.
Over the years cycling has kept me healthy. It has given me a way to escape from the pressures and stresses that life can bring.
I’m out there riding my bike to stay healthy, to enjoy the beautiful place where I live, and simply because I love it.  I love the wind on my face, the sun on my back, the scenery flashing by and the feeling of satisfaction I get from living an active lifestyle.
Dear motorist, I’m not a cyclist, but I’m a husband. I have a wife; she loves to ride. Someone almost hit her the other day. My heart stopped when I heard the news.
I know that cyclists can be annoying, when they ride in your lane, force you to slow down and wait before turning. Until I bought a bike I too was easily irritated by cyclists impeding my commute.
[interview:] The thing that a lot of motorists don’t realize is that cyclists are gonna put themselves into whatever position they feel safest.
When you are driving your car and road conditions become dangerous you move around them to keep yourself safe. It is the same with cyclists.
I’ve taken a right-hand turn in my car and nearly missed a cyclist I failed to see around the corner. I’ve been cycling on the shoulder of the road and almost hit by a distracted driver. I live on both sides of this discussion.
I recently had a good friend of mine killed while riding his bike. It was tragic and unnecessary. He was too young to die.
My friend lost his life doing what he loved. Doing what I love.
He had a wife and four kids. I wanna be there for my family. He no longer can be.
It is easy to feel invincible, like you are the exception to the rule, like it would never happen to you or to somebody you know. In an instant his wife’s and 4 young children’s lives were changed forever, and not just theirs, but the life of that motorist will never be the same, either.
[interview:] I think that’s everybody’s worst fear, um, is actually having taken someone’s life, or even injuring somebody. Um, I can’t imagine the guilt I would feel, um… not only for the person that I injured, but for everybody else in that person’s life.
My friend does not have to live with that memory every day, but the driver who hit him will live with that guilt every single day, for the rest of his life.
[interview:] I’ve had a really hard time getting back on my bike since the accident, because I’m afraid that every car I hear coming from behind is gonna hit me, and I just don’t wanna ride that way.
I’m at the mercy of the motorists I’m sharing the road with. You are bigger than me. You are travelling faster than me. If we collide my chance of injury is a hundred times greater than yours.
Every single person’s life is worth a few seconds of your time.
[interview:] I understand where cyclists would be angry with the situation. I understand where motorists get frustrated with slower moving objects on the road.
I’ve seen my fellow cyclists do some really not so smart things on the road, and it hurts me to think this is where our image comes from.
[interview:] I think it can be avoided by both parties. Cyclists need to be conscientious of drivers, and obeying the laws, and not just assume that drivers are gonna look out for them.
As a cyclist I pledge that I will be as visible as possible, to stay as much out of your way as possible.
I’ve made a new commitment to myself: I will stop the distractions when I’m behind the wheel.
Please slow down and drive cautiously. There isn’t anything that’s going to happen while you’re driving that’s more important than the actual act of driving.
I don’t want to leave my kids without a mother, because I didn’t respect you as a motorist, and you didn’t respect me as a cyclist. More importantly I want you to respect my kids, even if they are still learning to respect you. So my plea is for us all to be safe, to be aware, be courteous, and to share the road.
Sincerely, your friend
Sincerely, your brother
Sincerely, a mother
Sincerely, a cyclist’s husband
Sincerely, a cyclist
Pledge to be more aware at:
Dear Motorist  (.com)

there's more room on the sidewalk

If you’ve already shouted “What pros?”  then you might want to go read something else. But I’d like you to be able to stay, read on and give me your opinion. When you’re finished reading.
It’s probably not a good idea to ride on the sidewalk, and in the end not even worth the hassle, and incidentally in Toronto, also illegal, but you might  find that there are some good reasons to do it. Hear me out.

well, let’s talk about this

Let’s first take a look at the reasons not to. The sidewalk is a minefield of opportunities for collison.  If you’re moving at a fairly regular bicycle speed, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re passing pedestrians, get off the sidewalk now. There’s no safe way to pass an unsuspecting pedestrian. I woudn’t bother ringing my bell, you’ll just be seen as the rude trespasser asking the proprietor to kindly lurch out of your way. For more detail on the dangers of collision on the sidewalk, you can take a look at my article about the peculiar behaviours of pedestrians.  And kids! A little kid can break free from his parent’s hand and be under your wheel in a second, when you thought you had ample room to do your thing.
Pedestrians can suddenly appear from out of doorways, and from behind corners. Plus, to a pedestrian you’re taller, and harder, and faster than he is, and threatening, and just not supposed to be there at all. People will get pretty protective of their turf. Some pedestrians will glare at you even if you’re meters away just because they feel that you are getting away with something.  and some just because you HAVE a bike on the sidewalk, even if you’re not sitting on it.
The dangers to you:  Curbs and driveways! You can get seriously killed coming off a curb at a speed a driver doesn’t expect from something on a sidewalk!
Oh,… fines! I haven’t met anyone who has been fined, but they are steep, last I researched.
So then, why would you want to ride on the sidewalk?
Some people are too scared to ride on city streets. With very good reason! The bike path infrastructure in Toronto is very limited!
My aunt for example has terrible pain in her feet, but gets around wonderfully on a tricycle. She’s very nervous in traffic, as one would be, when one goes slowly and is wide. Midtown streets are narrow. Drivers can be aggressive. So she rides on the sidewalk. We never discussed it, but I’m sure she has good judgement and rules she lives by. She wants to be safe, and respectful, and she is no doubt patient and ready to stop and give the right of way. She is after all aware of being in someone else’s territory.
Single lane traffic. It’s a construction zone and the lane is so narrow, nobody can safely pass me. If there are a dozen cars lined up behind me all bubbling with rage and resentment, and the sidewalk is empty and about the same width as the lane, I will opt for the sidewalk. It’s just the better choice!
During a heatwave, when there is shade on the other side of the street, and i’m about to wilt or be turned into a crispy cracker, I will find room on that sidewalk on the other side. If I see an available bike rack down the street on the opposite side, but my chance to cross is now I will end up on the sidewalk for a small stretch.

Ok, so maybe you’re thinking they are pretty good reasons to be on the sidewalk, but why not get off and push? Well, beside the fact that it would defeat the whole purpose for my aunt, I don’t think I should have to. Many townships don’t make riding on the sidewalk illegal. Riding on the sidewalk should work perfectly well. Bike paths through a park can be no wider than a sidewalk and there are easy rules that make sharing possible.

• Don’t go slower than you can manage balancing.
• Don’t get close to anyone without warming. Speak, don’t ring. Stop when uncertain.
• Be aware of everything that could happen around you, 360 degrees, and be ready to jump off.
• Be patient. If you must pass someone, ask politely to squeeze by.
• Say please and thank you, and smile.

If you conduct yourself respectfully with a well-thought-out code you can be safer than a personal mobility device, or a stroller, a child on a scooter or roller-blades, or a person pulling a suitcase. I see nothing wrong with scooting along, one foot on a pedal, bike under me, the other foot pushing off on the other side, ready to stop on a dime. Have you ever noticed that you actually take up less space that way, than if you pushed your bicycle beside you? You can lose your balance trying not to hit your ankle! The only time I will ever collide with a pedestrian on a sidewalk is when a multi-tasking pedestrian trips and falls right into me, but as a wise friend has pointed out, it would still be deemed my fault.

So, are we cyclists really arrogant rule breakers? Apart from riding on sidewalks we do a whole lot of other illegal and insolent things, make rolling stops, run red lights, cross intersections diagonally, sometimes cutting things really close, inconveniencing others or putting them in danger, squeeze past a row of cars on the right (cause it’s just so difficult for us to have to wait in traffic), go down the wrong way on a one-way street (cause we’re special, and we shouldn’t have to do detours). And some of us expect the rest of the population to make way, and even to be the ones to pay attention and protect our safety from our own foolish carelessness. How often have you seen a cyclist do something so dangerous, like swerve around a pothole or pass another cyclist in dense traffic without looking over his shoulder? And how often have you seen a cyclist go through a red light, almost hit a pedestrian whose turn it was to cross the street, and then yell at them? Who wouldn’t be paranoid and full of indignation!
My friend says: “I’m a conscientious rule breaker.” Sure, me too. I get the Using Your Judgement, and the Rules Are For The Thoughtless.  But what we conscientious rule breakers need to keep in mind is, well, first off, that we’re breaking the rules, and it doesn’t matter now much we think these conscientious things we do make sense, or how much sense they really do make, or how careful or how respectful we are. There are two things to consider when breaking the rules, there are the things we do, and there is the impact we have on the people who see us do them.
Some say we should follow the laws, and everything will be fine. I’m not sure that would solve the confrontational aspect of the situation. Besides, it doesn’t sit right with me. Am I to stop at every stop sign even when nobody’s around? Well, yes, but will I? I don’t think so especially since there are communities that have such exceptions actually written into the by-laws.
But somehow we do have to reverse the damage we’ve done by taking liberties. I don’t blame anyone who feels intimidated and retaliates. We’ve stopped communicating. We’re all impatient with one another. We don’t think about others as much as we should. We’re always in a hurry. We’ve become resentful and we’re up in arms about the smallest things. We have to give, not take. We have to show appreciation and understanding. We have to use forethought. We have to educate ourselves, and we have to show respect, and kindness, above all.
If I’m anywhere near a person on the sidewalk you can’t tell me apart from a pedestrian, a weird polite pedestrian, because I talk a lot more and I yield to everyone. Also I’m strangely bicycle shaped, and well, my feet may be off the ground at times.  So, that’s one problem solved, you’d think. The other problem is the much bigger one. To a previously terrorized pedestrian, it doesn’t matter how loving a pit bull I am, I’m still a pit bull in a yard full of bunnies!

shit pedestrians do

Traffic on sidewalks kind of ambles, pedestrians never look over their shoulder,  there are no lanes on sidewalks, people just stop or veer without warning and for no apparent reason – that shit would never fly on the street. Remember that I’m generalizing, so please don’t take offense, but these are observations I make on a regular basis.
Pedestrians text and walk all the time, they get so engrossed, they slow right down, and just waft over into your path. If you have one oncoming or you’re trying to pass someone focused on their Smartphone, you sometimes have to calculate the slight arc they are walking, and judge whether you’ll still have an opening once you get close enough, or whether you should decide to pass him on the other side, or perhaps just stop and see what happens.
Notice that a pedestrian never just suddenly turns around, no.  A pedestrian will turn around by stepping sideways quite possibly blindly into someone else’s path. When a pedestrian hears something behind them they might do their side-stepping maneuver, either to see what’s behind them (which is fair), or in a misguided attempt to make way, when it would make so much more sense to just hold his course and allow faster entities to pass.
Pedestrians like to cut corners, when crossing the street, exactly into the path of say a cyclist pulling up to the line at a red light.
A pedestrian might know he can’t cross the street in the 3 seconds left in the countdown of his traffic light, but he will start anyways, knowing that everyone will allow them to safely reach the opposite side, even though they are chomping at the bit.
Pedestrians are so certain of their right of way at intersections like 4-way stops, that they will simply start crossing the street, sometimes without even looking. Jaywalking, if a pedestrian doesn’t hear anything coming on the street they might step off the curb onto the street without looking, forgetting that cyclists are silent. Or he might rush right up to the edge of the sidewalk making it seem as though he’s just going to cross, then suddenly stop, just as you’re about to consider the consequences of a hit’n’run.

The sidewalk has absolutely no rules, people just meander, exit doorways running, appear out of nowhere from behind corners or kiosks, they cut each other off, willy-nilly – there is no discipline or sense of personal space, it’s dog eat dog on the sidewalk!  That’s why riding a bike on the sidewalk, is such a bad idea!
Pedestrians have no problem getting into a cyclist’s space when they want to, but roll onto their turf, and you might get a scowl you won’t soon forget, sometimes even if you are pushing your bicycle beside you, which incidentally makes you twice as wide. A pedestrian might even subtly get a little closer to you, just to illustrate how much you’ve inconvenienced him. Don’t scoff, I’ve seen it! Or he will lurch out of your way in terror to make his point, even though you are still more than 10 feet away from him.
To some degree I understand this hostility. Most of us cyclists are terribly arrogant as well. And some of us do take unnecessary chances with others’ safety.
Then why would I go through the hassle of riding on the sidewalk?  That’s the topic of a whole other blog coming up.

bike porn

uncovet.com

This is the Bobbin Birdie in sky blue. I hate this colour. Or I thought I hated this colour. Two days ago I definitely hated this colour. This bicycle is on sale at Curbside on Bloor for 4 hundred dollars, regular 650. Also comes in flamingo pink, and pale yellow. I happen to have seen this "pale yellow" model when I was in the store. It must be hard for a yellow bicycle to look pale.

Just the 21 inch frame left now at CS, in sky blue. It has a three speed hub, and you can clearly see that it has a chain guard and fenders, and the more I see this bike the more I want it. The internal gears are low maintenance and actually designed to withstand weather and to stay outside in the winter, says the Curbside website.

I was going to tell you the whole grueling story of my search for a new bike after my old Miele got stolen, and how I came upon my 1973 Raleigh cruiser with scratched off serial number. I like to think the number was scratched off decades ago, and I no longer own someone else's missing bike.

But those are subjects for another story. Today I’m going to show you this bike. I’m just going to show it to you. Here it is. I was going to post the picture from the website, but I found this little beauty on Pinterest instead. Doesn't the hideous blue look stunning against that earthy background?

For now I'm going to stick with my beaten up Raleigh. Before I get something nice I want to regain a little faith in the universe. Not that that's going to reduce the chances of theft, but it will reduce the incidences of fretting. I'm getting a lot of flack from my friends and family about how and where I park my bike. At CS they talked me into spending 130 dollars on a lock. "Nobody I know who bought this lock has ever had their bike stolen," said two different salesmen at Curbside. At least they're on the same page with each other. I've done research. No lock is immune to an angle grinder! Youtube says, it takes about 10 seconds to cut an Abus lock held down in a table vice clamp. I wonder if the gentlemen at CS are aware that you can now purchase a fairly powerful, battery-operated angle grinder -- for less than the price of that lock! Let's hope they are right about most thieves being drug addicts, whose priorities don't include thinking so far ahead as investing in a vice clamp and an always fully charged, inconspicuously portable angle grinder, just in case of those really desperate moments of need.



Now! There's a woman who lives on the island who rides around the city on a gorgeous black Batavus that looks just like an English comfort bike in the style of the classic Hero. With its galvanized steel frame and internal 5-speed hub it must weigh about as much as my apartment....

love from afar

Opus Zermatt

The other day I saw her. On her bike, a beautiful Opus Zermatt, one of many bikes I’ve been admiring for weeks. This Opus has elegant shapes and lines, brown handles and seat, with everything you'd want in a city bike, except a chain guard, and it is the colour of a spring meadow in the morning mist.

There she swept by on her two wheels, prettier than I could have imagined her. A medieval princess, in earth tones, skirt, boots, blouse, her black hair waving in the breeze, the fronts of  it pinned into a narrow curly tail over the luscious shiny back of it.

I like my 1973 Raleigh Cruiser, in a dusty, not really, blue, but a colour that blends into everything, like jeans, ...or the sea. But the bike was bought in a hurry, and it's not ideal. While it's well-built and really solid - nothing on it wiggles - it is a little whispy, the frame itself. When I'm laden down with heavy groceries, it seems to actually quiver and bend. The tires are quite narrow. I don't know how it will fare in the snow, and it's hard to find knobbies in that size. Though I'm getting conflicting advice on what's best to ride in snow, "You can grip a lot more pavement in slush with these hybrid slicks!", I have three winters under my belt, and I wish I could go with what's tried and true. Finally, after much searching and all this adapting - I'm on my fourth handlebar - I still find I'm leaning too far forward, putting a touch too much weight on my wrists.

So, my lusty eye does wander. I notice her Opus every time I pass by it. The colour always makes me gaze, and the sweeping writing on it. Lately I've been a little worried about it, because she locks it by the luggage rack, and it would be very easy to steal it. Again I walked by it this morning noticing, hm, it would be very easy to steal it.... 

Walking by again this afternoon I saw a strange gap between the leather handle grip on the right and the gear shift. As I realized that the grip must have been moved, I saw the other one was missing altogether, and once again decided that there is no point in owning anything really nice!

...in fact if you look really closely at the photograph you will see what recently happened to the bike parked beside it.

until you don't!

"...leaving behind only a glass slipper"

That moment when you get to where you parked your bike, and you find not a coffee cup in your basket, or a bell or a seat missing, or a nasty note attached. No, you find just an empty pole.

You wonder for at first, as one does, whether you forgot you parked it somewhere else. You hope. But it only takes a second for your mind to click into the proper memory, and when you go to take a closer look at the crime scene, still thinking that by the time you get there, you'll spot it somewhere close-by, or you find some kind of clue to a practical joke, you notice all that's left of your bike is a silk flower lying pathetically up-side-down on the ground, not nearly as pretty as it looked on the bike. Left there, just as if to confirm. A kind gesture from the thief to save you the trouble of wondering.

He must have been attracted by the dazzling sight of the brand new transmission. I didn't even get a chance to admire it yet. Had a fun time getting a tune-up just earlier this week at MEC. They couldn't get their information straight, and in the end I paid less than expected, and wasn't really sure what got done and what didn't. Waited a week for my appointment with a mechanic there.

When's a less busy time I asked on the way out. Winter, he said. I'll see you in winter! I would never get caught needing a tune-up between April and October again. But the trouble was worth it because this week my princess ran like a dream!

Now i don't know where she is. What she is. Probably parts.  Ironically, last week, one morning i found I'd forgotten to lock her!

I blame myself, as one does, for not using more or better locks, for not taking my baby to the dark damp basement garage every night. I'm sure to hear about it - go on, get it off your chest, mom, you get ONCE!


Everyone loses a bike. It's a city rite of passage. It's the cost of riding. You can take measures to minimize the chances, but you can't park underground everywhere you go.  Not until you move to Japan!  And every lock is breakable. If they want your bike they'll have your bike.

So you must make them not want it! Every loose and pretty bit must be wired down, duct taped, or cosmetically vandalized. I had flowers everywhere, convinced that no person with any business sense would find it worth the effort to remove all the tape and wire, but i got sloppy. I should have taken the time to deface those shiny new

inhabitat.com

cogs and chain.  I should have put more spray paint on them, and the wheels, and the seat stem, the seat, the chain, everything!

Whatever you do, you can think you're doing everything right. No, no. You've just been lucky. It was my turn.

The girl and I, and her Supercycle seat with seams that collect water, that stains my pants for days after it rains, we had a good run. 

So, celebrate that you find your bike where you left it, until you don't.  Then go and find a new one.

Bye-bye, pretty bike! I'll miss you. I'll miss how easily we went up every hill. I'll miss the way you made old ladies smile. Maybe someone else gets to love you now. Forget about your evil middle man. Girl, you have some stories to tell!

one ride at a time

a lovely note found on my bike

when you pick up your bike where you parked it, don’t get mad if you find someone else's bike leaning on yours and you wish you had 3 arms to dislodge them from each other while keeping them both from falling over.

don’t worry that your seat is wet, and that you forgot to bring a towel or a plastic bag. don’t moan because some litter bug thought putting their empty coffee cup into your basket wasn’t actually littering. don’t lament the bell someone stole just because they liked it. don’t dismay because someone locked their bike to your brake cable, and you now need to dismantle it before you can leave.

don't get angry because you find a threatening note clipped to your lock, because someone felt you parked too close to a community garden.

no!

CELEBRATE, that you find your bike where you left it, with no major parts missing and that you get to ride it yet another time!

let's get something straight

www.rgbstock.com

that narrow lane between the road and the sidewalk, the one with a picture of a  bicycle on it, that's a bike path. definition: a path or part of a road marked off or separated for the use of bicyclists.

a bike path is not:

a shoulder: the strip of unpaved land that borders a road, often used for pulling over and stopping and texting your girlfriend. i will forgive you if you're changing a tire or setting off flares.

a right-turn lane: lane used to provide space for deceleration and storage of turning vehicles.  maybe you've noticed:  you don't fit!

a taxi bay: an area intended for taxis to line up and wait for fares.

an extension of the side walk: a hard-surfaced path for pedestrians alongside and a little higher than a road.  no, it's not a good idea to just step off the curb into my special bicycle area without looking, to get around a bottleneck in your special pedestrian area.

a loading zone: a stop where carriers can be loaded and unloaded and where you wait for your hubby to come back with your tim horton's order.

a parking lot: a cleared area that is intended for parking vehicles - where you temporarily abandon your two ton waste of space because you have to leave it somewhere while you shop, until scientists design one that will fold up and fit into your napsack.

string of curses

after a fairly nice may afternoon the weather changed considerably. by 8pm the temperature had dropped by almost 10 degrees, it was threatening to rain and i was not pleased. on my way home from work here's what my thoughts might have sounded like: 

omg why is it so cold out here  really should have worn longjohns  these shoes are killing me  that bike better not be locked to mine  shit why can’t i get the key out of the lock  why would you lock your bike so it has to be peeled off and then kept from falling    woah that wind is ripping my ears off  now my earring's tangled up in my scarf why am i even still wearing a scarf  ok what are you doing tell me what you're doing!  sure let’s say good-bye right in the middle of the road  at least it’s not raining cold and raining it’s coming up to june for pete’s sake nice outfit yup you’re freezing your ankles and toes off     oh here comes the rain almost made it damn where’s my lock not going back now use the back-up maybe find it tomorrow   really can’t wear these shoes anymore  jeeze why is it so hot in here

(also some of it may have been said aloud...)

rolling again!

shiny new valve

rode to work today.  yes, on my bike.  that i fixed. by myself. i rode gingerly. afraid to go over bumps, afraid to change gears. 

this morning i finally had that thank you meal with R - you know, the guy who was right about my keys returning once we cut off the lock, ...ok, HE cut off the lock, i watched.  i'm glad i was clever enough to arrange it so that i could reward myself for his efforts by getting to spend even more time with him and call it "buying him breakfast".

i wasn't going to bring up the bike, because he's a bit of a compulsive helper, but he said: "so, how's it going?"  what am i gonna do, lie?  so, i spilled and i learned that i can use the wrong valve, it's a matter of sticking a smaller object through a larger hole.  the opposite would have been a problem.  that's good news!

quickly resuming bike-unrelated topics we enjoyed our breakfast and an awesome chat.  then i rushed home to try to finish my project and get the bike out of my livingroom!


reassembly started off promising.  i followed the youtube instructions for getting the tire on the wheel and the inner tube inside, it was pretty easy.  later, temples sweaty from pumping air past the valve for a good 5 minutes before i realized what i was doing, i noticed that just by chance i'd put the tire on the correct way!  encouraged by my good fortune i barreled on and wondered:  how far down should i push the axle in the slots?  is it even?  how far can i adjust the fender to give the tire enough room?  did i tighten the nuts enough? how many times can i wash this dirt off my hands before i scrub the skin right through?

finally i was sure there was no chafing and the wheel was happily spinning in place with a minimum of wobble.  any good teacher would have said:  "great!  now take it off and do it again."  luckily, i didn't need a teacher, my chain told me!  it was all bunched up on one side of the nut.  i couldn't be lucky twice.

i looked up the derailleur configuration online.  undid the tire, slung the chain in the right spot and remounted the tire.  but then the chain kept falling off.  it got stuck in the tiny gap between the front gear and the body, and i wondered how it even got in there?  that's when i nearly cried.   so close now!  what if i break the chain?  but i kept fiddling with it and just as mysteriously it slipped back out.  and i didn't break the chain.  and with my fingers covered up to my palms in black grime i realized, i fixed my own flat today! 

i wanted a decent tread, but all they had was mountain bike tires, so it vibrates a little on the street.  but otherwise, i felt pretty pleased with myself when i actually arrived at work and nothing had fallen off.  on my lunch hour i went to see if the tire was still inflated.  yup. it feels good to know how to do it, and it was an important experience for reaching a deeper understanding, but i don't like it.  it's messy.  and finicky.  and it's confusing!  the sizes!  what's 700 even mean?  700 whats?  and what about this strange hybrid of metric and imperial measurement?  1.9?  well, it's bigger than 2 centimetres!  so, since when do we break down inches into decimals?

next time i have a flat, the fairweather cyclists will all have had their fairweather work done, and i'll just drop into my shop and whine:  "fix eeeeet!... and throw in a tuneup, pleeeze", and grin.

i have the money, why should i torture myself?

first attempt

chaos in my living room

since my tire exploded last week, i went to three different stores to find a replacement close enough to what i want. tonight i came home equipped with one new tire from MEC, one of those hook thingies you need to get the old tire off, and an inner tube that will fit, as opposed to the 700 x skinny one my regular mechanic sold me. ...sigh, i thought he knew us. and so did he.

the whole walk home i was worried about the extra point two increments the tire was wider than the 1.9 whatevers of the original one. the guy at MEC told me it shouldn’t be a problem, but i forgot to tell him my bike had fenders.  he also asked me what kind of valve it used.  he showed me the two different types.

i’ve seen a youtube video on how to change a rear tire.  i know the guy makes it look easy, and i know that i need a wrench or two to remove a wheel that isn’t quick release. i was ready to get dirty!

i thought it would be a good idea to take my special virgin project to my apartment.  it was getting dark, i wouldn’t have much time to do it in the morning, and i’m tired of walking!  i could watch television while changing a tire - how cool!  and  in case of reassembly disaster it could all stay sprawled out where it wants until i call for backup or try again another day.

crankiness already set in before i even unlocked the bike, when i tried to decide if i should go upstairs and drop off my luggage first, and come back for the bike, or if i should save a trip and get it all up at once. having chosen option two, there's me trying to lift the bike around the corners of the wheelchair/stroller ramp cluttered with apartment building sized recycle bins on their way to the curb, my basket heavy with my napsack, and the new tire slipping off my shoulder at every step.  the tire didn’t do much better slung around the handlebar as  i scrambled out of the elevator, and scrape-clunk-scrape-clunked my poor flat down the hall to my apartment and sqeezed in through the narrow vestibule.

i turned the dirty monster upside down in my living room.  i did have the presence of angry mind to spread a blanket under the whole mess to spare the beige carpet, before getting out the wrench.

i got  a good amount of weather hardened grease under my fingernails, while trying to get untangled from the chain. how DOES a chain wind around the derailleur? there's another youtube search for later. but taking off the tire was pretty easy, once i remembered to undo the brake.

when i realized the tire might fit into the fender, but i definitely chose the wrong valve, i just washed my hands again with dishsoap to try to get the smell of rubber off, and had some vodka. what’s another few days of walking and taking the streetcar?

on foot

cracked from winter riding

yesterday, as i was leaving for work, not 20 yards from home i heard a big pop, and a huge shriek.  the shriek was me.  the pop was my rear tire exploding.  my bike is now locked up outside my home with a flat.  a truly sad sight.  and scary.  a slightly wounded bicycle always seems an invitation to pilfer.

i called my bike shop in the afternoon, the manager said, "no, it shouldn't take long to fix".  i said, "how's it look for tomorrow"  he put me through to the mechanic.  "what kind of bike do you have?"  asked the mechanic.  he recognizes me, i've been there with many a flat.  "hold on" he said. minutes later i found myself back on the line with the store manager who told me they are full up for the week.  an example of stellar customer service. the manager kept stammering variations on the same thing in order to avoid committing to any kind of alternate solution, "so, yeah, ..."  "probably not gonna be able to..."  "try back next week",  no waiting list, no appointment.  am i to pop in occasionally with my broken down vehicle on the off chance that now there's room for my bike to wait its turn?

today i dropped into the shop on my way to work to find out how it works.

i've been walking.  walking's fun once in a while, especially in this weather - once you accept the sheer lack of speed.  you see stuff.  you get less stressed.  you're unencumbered.  you can pop into a shop without effort.  you can amble like pedestrians do.  pedestrians are so pathetically unaware of their surroundings.  it's a fun exercise.

i went downstairs straight to where the mechanic hangs out and does his magic.  i asked him what the procedure was for getting in line for repair.   he knows my bike.  he handed me an inner tube and said he'd go and get the manager, then he disappeared up the stairs.  i followed him.  "he's just in the bathroom"  i paid for my inner tube.  i now own an inner tube.

the manager said, "i have no idea if he takes appointments, that's up to the mechanic.  go ask him"  after i briefly explained about the impending runaround, he marched right down to the evasive mechanic and came back 5 minutes later saying he'd just talked to the owner on the phone.  their other location could take me right now and fix it while i wait!

how nice!  i was on my way to work.  on foot.  no, he wouldn't be there tomorrow.

it's time to stop being such a little princess and learn how to fix the fucking thing myself!

keys found

key's found.  month later.  at shoppers drugmart, eaton's centre.  don't ask.  don't know.  they've had an adventure!  i wish they could talk.

not a bike thief

two days ago i locked my bike on queen street and crossed the street to go into a shop.  five minutes later, paying for my merchandise, i noticed my keys missing.  i turned my pockets and bags inside out, searched the shop, retraced my steps to my bike, looked under and in things, popped into a couple of neighbouring stores.  clearly i dropped my keys and someone picked them up!

reluctantly, i abandoned my bike and walked to work.

no-one had called to report the keys found.  how would they know to do this, you ask?  my work key card was attached to my set of keys in a luggage tag.  my full name and place of work printed on it..  at my desk i first spent half an hour googling this information to see whether my home address could be found this way.  if you typed in your website in whois.com it used to display your billing address. thank gawd they stopped that. what took them so long?

suddenly i wondered if i may have been pick-pocketed by someone who had his eye on my bike, while watching me lock it!  so i called the girl at the shop - ok, the condom shack! - and asked her to look out the window to see if my bike was still there.

sorry to bother you, i’m the one who lost her keys, do you have a moment?  - no, across the street - the one with the two baskets and the flowers, you see it?

it was still there.

after work,reasonably assured i wouldn’t be robbed or raped, i walked to canadian tire and  bought a chain anyways, but decided against spending 300 dollars (my guess) to hire a locksmith.  then i walked home.  it was strange to be locked out of my own home, out of my life actually.  but i kept thinking, at least it’s not my wallet i lost!

my mother let me into the building and into my apartment.  i borrowed her copy of my key.  i installed the chain on the door in already existing holes in the frame.  then i looked through my box of spare keys.  i found a key to the extra lock i carry on my luggage rack, but not to the one currently holding my bicycle hostage on queen street.

the next morning i called the girl at the condom shack.  hi, i’m so sorry to bother you again, i’m the one who lost her keys.  do you have a  moment?

my bike had survived the night.  and the shop girl (a different girl) was a very good sport about it.  i won’t let anyone near it, she said!

how sweet!

then i emailed my neighbour, a real experienced bike guy, who might have some bolt cutters.  bolt cutters won’t do it, said experienced bike guy.  he convinced me to leave it in his hands, he would go there with tools and bring my baby home safe.  no offence to R, but out of all my acquaintances, he most looks the part of a bike thief - youthful, wiry, mysterious, black toque. ...i don’t know.  what’s a bike thief look like?  but i was worried about him, and wanted to be there, but he would be on foot, and wanted to ride home after bailing me out.  he assured me he could handle it.  why not send him an email to refer to, if i wished.

you’ve seen my bike, right?,  i said.

i called the girl at the condom shack.  it was the first girl again who answered,  the one who originally helped me with my purchase.  hi, i’m so sorry to bother you, i’m the one who lost her keys.  yes, haha, do you have a moment?  i’m having someone come and cut my bike loose.  it’s going to look an awful lot like he’s stealing it!  ...so, i was wondering, if you could just, if need be, vouch for him?

-------------

so, i wasn’t there, but here’s how it went down as i understand it from R’s account.  R starts to hack away at my lock, and out of the restaurant behind him come two lovely waiters in their white shirts and black vests to challenge tough guy R who seems  to be stealing a ladies' bike.  condom girl sees this and rushes out to say it’s ok, the owner lost her keys!  at this point the waiters start to share their experiences of lost keys and locked bikes, and give R advice.

this whole time R is working away with clearly inadequate tools.  you’re the worst bike thief i’ve ever seen, says shop girl! wonder how many bike thieves she knows.

thus, what was dangerously starting to look like an abandoned bike, spent another night in exile.

this morning R and i set out together to finish the job.  he borrowed another neighbour’s van. aside from the money i’m spending to replace all these keys and locks, i’m calling in an awful lot of favours!   let’s think of this as an adventure, said R. i can't believe i can't find that key! don't worry, it'll turn up, he said, once we cut the lock.

he stopped the van across the street from my bike, told me to stay with the illegally parked vehicle, and left the engine running.  i got out to take some photos.  as worried as i was about R getting arrested, i’m even more worried, though not surprised, at the mix of people just walking by, or looking, or deliberately not looking.  one woman stopped and got into a conversation with him.  i didn’t hear them but it could have easily gone something like this:  it’s ok, the woman standing there by the get-away van, yes, the one giving you the thumbs up, she lost her keys.

thank you!,  i mouthed.  somewhat assured, the feisty woman moved on.

10 minutes later, the lock was off, i hugged R, and i went straight to MEC.  then to work.

total projected cost of this adventure:

bike lock - $30

door chain - $15

various keys copied - $20

work key card - $20

building key - $50

future lunch with R - priceless!

what an experience!  i had a chance to ponder the potentially high price of reckless convenience.  i spent some quality time with R.  i have new interesting photographs.  i walked so much my shin muscles are sore.  and i now own a brand new magnum cable lock.  it comes with four spare keys! i'm going to keep them each in a different place.